Covid freaking sucks.

If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you might have heard already, but I’ve been battling covid for the past 2 weeks,. Despite all the care I’ve taken during the ongoing pandemic, it finally hit me.

I either got it while hanging out with a visiting friend (who my partner and I hung out with mostly outdoors and distanced, except for the car ride, when said friend wore a mask, who got it from family, who are also careful and who probably got it from someone who wasn’t masking or distancing in public), or while grocery shopping (we were wearing masks, but almost nobody else in the store was). The reason I’m not sure is that the day we were visiting with said friend, my partner and I both had a bit of a headache, which may have been the first symptom. We didn’t get hit with other symptoms until a few days later, but that’s not unreasonable for a viral infection.

Honestly, the odds are about 50/50 for either scenario.

And I’m still pissed off about it.

I’m not pissed off because maybe a friend got me sick. I’m pissed off because I personally know people who have been far less careful about covid than my partner and I have, and they haven’t caught covid. I don’t want them to! But I find it universally unfair that I ended up getting it despite all the care I take.

I know disease isn’t karma. It’s not like covid only infects people who deserve it. But still. The rotten luck of it all… I think I’m allowed to be a little bit angry over it.

Especially because the provincial government has done such a fantastic job of bungling the whole situation. They lifted restrictions long before they reached the metrics by which they said they’d lift restrictions, have slowly rolled back any lingering restrictions that might have been in place — our initial “green” phase involved having very very few cases but still requiring people to mask in public buildings, and especially if they’re sick, until a successful vaccine has been fully deployed to the population; now, there are no restrictions at all, save that they ask nicely for people to self-report if they test positive on rapid tests. No actually requirements, though. Someone could test positive for covid, not report it, not mask, and infect loads of other people as they go about their daily life.

The government has said they have no plans to reinstitute mask mandates, despite the province having well over a thousand new cases a week for the past month or so. They’ve just reached the point where their policy is, “Probably everyone will get covid at some point, so we can’t do anything to stop or slow the spread anymore. We’ll just monitor the overcrowded hospital system to make sure that doesn’t break down entirely while people keep getting sick.”

In fairness to them, freaking everywhere has mismanaged the handling of covid. And because everyone’s thrown in the towel in regard to controlling the situation (because they don’t want to deal with angry people who dislike doing what the government says for no reason beyond that the government said to do it), then yes, probably everybody will get covid. Unless they completely isolate themselves from society until this ends.

And it probably won’t ever end. Because people selfishly don’t want to wear a mask when they do out and desperately value concerts and restaurants over human lives.

Am I salty? You freaking bet I am!

The problem with the whole “personal choice” approach to masking and distancing is that while those things do protect you, their primary function is to protect others. You wearing a mask protects others from getting sick from you more than it protects you from getting sick. But if everyone wears a mask, everyone’s as protected as they can be. Personal choice is only a valid argument if you’re the only one at risk. People who refuse to wear masks when around others are saying, “It’s everyone else’s job to keep me from getting sick.”

Technically, I could have gone and infected a whole bunch of others. Guidelines only suggest I stay home and isolate for 5 days once I test positive. I’m probably not contagious anymore, but if I am, gosh, I could have spent this whole week going out without a mask and infecting other people, maybe making them thing oh, if only people had worn masks more, then maybe I wouldn’t be sick.

But I’m not an asshole. I don’t want people to get as sick as I was.

Because while my case wasn’t super serious or anything, it was still bad enough. I had 1 day where I had a fever, and I almost never get fevers. Seriously, last time I remember having a fever was when I was 12 and caught chicken pox. Fevers suck! But fever and chills are awful. My energy has been so sapped that there have been multiple days where sitting up for longer than 15 minutes was nearly impossible. I was so happy the first day I managed 2 half-hour chunks of sitting up!

My voice… I lost it and couldn’t speak above a whisper for days. Then it was tight and raspy, though my throat feels fine. My throat isn’t sore. I think my vocal chords were affected, though, which kind of worries me because it’s still not better, and one of my hobbies, the one that makes me feel like I’m actually useful and not a complete waste of space, is running my Youtube channel, and that means using my voice for narration. If my voice doesn’t really come back… I know there’s still plenty of time for it to recover and return, but I’m honestly scared that it might not, and I’ll have to come to grips with losing that part of myself.

And the cough! My gods, the cough. I have an oximetre here, so I know my O2 sats never dropped below 97% (which I’m bloody thankful for, since I have asthma and lung scarring from bouts of childhood pneumonia, and this could have gone so much worse for me…) but that didn’t change the fact that I was and still am coughing up crud from my lungs. And it’s difficult sometimes. It’s not just a couple of little coughs and then my lungs are clear. No, it’s hacking coughs that sometimes I have to rest in the middle of because if I keep coughing I’m going to throw up before I clear my lungs. It’s coughing so hard I tore the inside of my throat and spat out blood.

Ever coughed so hard you tore flesh? Yeah, I don’t recommend it. It felt like my esophagus was bruised for a day after that incident. Bruised insides are not comfortable things.

So no, I don’t want anyone to get sick like that. I don’t want anyone else to be going through lingering symptoms for weeks. I don’t want anyone else to cough until they bleed.

In short, please stay safe, friends. Mask and distance, please don’t assume you’ll get covid anyway so there’s no point in taking precautions. There’s always a point in taking precautions. Do what you can, even if other people can’t be arsed to do the same.

But I am slowly feeling better, so I should be able to return to making posts and writing reviews soon. When I have limited “sitting up” time, doing things other than blogging take priority, but it’s getting a little easier each day, so I should be able to get back to that probably next week. Hopefully. Fingers crossed, anyway!

Take care, friends! Happy reading!

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