Wow, Did I Ever Fail at Posting Here Again

So my last post was back in December, where I said I wanted to post here more again.

And then I just didn’t.

Good job, me.

But I do want to start reviewing again. I’ve felt the itch. I’ve gotten dissatisfied with vaguely sharing book cover images and writing a couple of paragraphs on Instagram, because often I have way more to say about a book than I can fit in Instagram’s post limit, so you know, maybe it’s time to start blogging again.

(I mean, how else am I supposed to draw more attention to the fact that I still read loads of books and also offer copyediting services?)

So expect a glut of reviews coming soon, and more activity over on Twitter. I’ve missed this community, and I really need to reconnect with it again.

In personal news, anyone who’s been following my health drama might know that I finally received a diagnosis for what the heck is wrong with me. I have fibromyalgia. Fairly severe fibromyalgia, according to the neurologist who diagnosed me.  My ability to walk is still on the decline, and it’s extremely likely that I’m going to need a wheelchair. Not a manual one, either, which I could likely get fairly cheaply, but due to general muscle weakness, I’ll likely need one of the fancy expensive motorized chairs, or a scooter, or something that doesn’t need to be propelled by my weaksauce self. Oh joy oh bliss.

Fibro isn’t fun. Being disabled isn’t fun. Anyone who tells you they wish they were disabled so they could just sit around the house all day and not work deserves to be kicked in the ass until they becomes incapable of getting out of bed for a few weeks. See how much fun it is then.

Yes, I have feelings about comments like this.

I’m still learning to live with fibro. It’s a work in progress. Some days are easier than other days. But despite being disabled to the point of being unable to work for more than 2 years now, I still haven’t figured out my limits. I still have a lot of internalized ableism to learn. Bear with me, because I might make posts bitching about disability issues in the future.

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But hey, progress is being made. Just yesterday I used one of those motorized shopping carts for the first time, and holy hell was it ever freeing! I actually felt independent, like I could shop for groceries without ending up fatigued and in massive pain afterward!

Sounds silly, yeah, but it was a big step for me in terms of accepting my disability and my limits and taking steps to get the accommodations I need to overcome them.

And hey, maybe I ended up as the butt of some ignorant person’s joke when they saw me put the cart back when I was done shopping. “I saw a miracle at Walmart the other day when the battery died, lol!” (Hey genius, how do you think I got to the cart in the first place? I can still walk. It just hurts a lot and I need a cane to do it. If I was already in a wheelchair, I wouldn’t need the cart, ya fuckwad.)

(Yes, I have feelings about those comments too.)

I mentioned in my last post that we had to say goodbye to our beloved Jakob-cat, who was 18 years old at the time. A few months ago, we also had to say goodbye to his brother, Nick, who made it to his 19th birthday before he started a very fast decline. We’re pretty sure it was congestive heart failure. Nick and Jakob had been with us since we became adults, and it was a very difficult adjustment to living without them. Sounds silly, but when something has been a constant for your entire adult life, living without that thing can be really difficult. Some days, I miss them both so much I still cry. They were my first pets, and they meant so much to me. One of the things I agreed to, when becoming a pet parent, is that I’ll hurt in order to prevent them from hurting. Saying goodbye when they were suffering… It was agony, and still is agony, but it was the right decision. However hard it was to make.

But life isn’t all bad. We still have 3 other cats who are utter delights, and much loved, and who bring us so much joy. There are still good books, and video games, and lots of things to be happy about, even if some parts of life suck right now. Sometimes the way we get through dark times is to hold on to the pinpricks of light, the small things that bring us happiness.

Anyway, enough ranting. Time to start writing some of those backlogged reviews so I can return to the fun world of inundating people with my opinions of fantasy novels!

I hope you’re all doing well, and I hope to talk with you all more on Twitter and in the blog comments. Take care, everyone!

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