Today is my 30th birthday. 3 decades of life are now behind me. It’s kinda weird to think about when I put it like that, actually…
My 20s have been tumultuous years. I guess everyone’s are, really. Been through multiple jobs (nearly all of them involving call centre work of some kind), fought a tumour, had surgery, started this review blog, helped a cat give birth (and subsequently helped raise her kittens), made some amazing friends, learned to cook, learned to knit and sew and turn magazine pages into unique coasters and placemats. There’s been a lot of self-discovery, too, in terms of my sexuality, my gender identity, and just generally who the crap I am. I sunk so low into depression that I began to have delusions that people around me were dead, and ended up in therapy that helped me not only come out of that deep depression but the skills I’ve learned have helped me manage my mood, my anxiety disorder, and a dozen other areas of my life. It’s been full of ups and downs, and ending on a bit of a low note with me losing my job earlier this week. Definitely could have ended better.
But this new decade of my life is starting with a bang! Losing my old job means that soon I’m going to have the joy of starting a new job! In a couple of weeks I’m going to get to travel to attend a concert of one of my favourite musicians (holy crap, you guys, I’m getting to see Adam Lambert touring with Queen! How awesome is that?!). In about a year, I’ll mostly likely be moving to another province, which will be the largest move I’ve made since coming to Canada when I was 5. With luck, my 30s will be when I go to university, too, and get a degree, which is a dream I’ve had pretty much since about 2 years after I left high school.
I read more than I ever have before. I want that to continue.
When I was approaching my 20th birthday, I was panicking. I was, honestly, terrified. 20 was the year that I would no longer be a teenager, and I thought that without that designation people would suddenly expect me to act like an adult and be responsible, and I had no idea how to really do that or what it even meant. Now I’m 30, the age where people actually seem to expect you to act like an adult (so naive of me to think that people expected responsibility from a 20 year old; some days people act relieved if a 20 year old shows up at work wearing matching socks), and all I can think is, “Meh, whatever.” I am who I am, responsibilities or no, and I’m comfortable enough in myself now that, while it still gets me down sometimes and annoys me that people seem to expect that I should have a career and a family by now, I’m not going to change my entire life for their expectations, and it’s not worth freaking out over.
This may sound like a given. But for me to not only say but actually believe that, it’s a mark of how far I’ve come in recent years. No idea if anyone who reads this knew me in my early- to -mid-20s, but yeah, there’s a huge difference in mentality.
So today, I celebrate my 3rd decade of time gone by by eating a delicious meal at my favourite Japanese restaurant, spending time with a good friend, and snacking on ice cream cupcakes. Because the best birthday is a relaxing birthday.
Even if Pinkie Pie has other ideas.