At 2:30 PM AST (6:30 PM GMT, 1:30 PM EST), I’m scheduled to be in surgery to remove the tumour that’s been plaguing my life for the past, oh, over a year and a half now. Through 3 failed treatments (one of which was a double-procedure in day surgery), complications that required a brief hospitalization last month, and being incapable of working since early February, this thing has been giving me some serious grief, and though it sounds strange to say, I’m glad that things actually got as serious as they did. Had I not been terrified of what work would think if I didn’t bring in a doctor’s note to cover my absense when I was still ill, I wouldn’t have gone to the emergency room, I wouldn’t have been admitted, they wouldn’t have found out that the tumour grew 3 cm in 6 months (which is about 6-12 times faster than that type normally grows), and the doctor I was seeing about it probably would still be trying less invasive things in the vain hope that I’d get better soon. As it was, her hand was forced and now I’m getting surgery to take the tumour out.
And possibly the organ it’s attached to, if she finds that the bleeding is too difficult to stop once she’s in there. Which I’m hoping for, by the way. This kind of tumour normally doesn’t cause problems, but even after removal, there’s a 15-30% recurrence rate after 5 years. I may get lucky. If it comes back, it might not be so bad next time. But between you, me, and the rest of the Internet, I don’t want to take the chance that in 5 years I’ll be in the same position I am now: broke, sick, and hoping a doctor will take me seriously this time. I want the damn thing out of me, and I want it to not have a chance to come back.
I want to come out of this healthy. I want to come out of surgery and know that not only can I start working again in 6 weeks (and start earning a paycheque again (because even though Canada’s healthcare system is paid for by taxes, that doesn’t mean that being long-term sick won’t make you scramble to borrow money to pay the rent…), but that I won’t be doing this again in a few years. I want my life back. I want this to work.
So I’ll be absent from the blogging world for a little while. Not sure how long. I’ve been told that I’ll be enjoying another stay in the hospital for anywhere between 1-3 nights, and then people tell me I’m probably going to end up spending a week not doing much of anything but sleeping. I’ve got a couple of guest posts set up in the meantime (large thanks to those who helped me out by writing one!), and hopefully I won’t be away for too long.