It’s been harder than I expected to keep up with everything this year. I’m feeling apathetic about a lot of things, and it doesn’t help that my NaNo project keeps going places I don’t want it to go. Characters aren’t turning out quite right, the setting is supposed to be gritty and real but keeps coming out feeling sanitized, and I’ll be damned if I know where I really want the plot to go.
In spite of that, I’m still writing.
I keep trying to tell myself that the point of NaNo isn’t to make something good. It’s to make something. Get the words down, get the story out, and then go back and edit like a mad fiend later on. I know that. Logically, I know that.
My biggest problem is that I also know that I never go back back and edit. Not because I think what I write is perfect, or at least can’t get any better. Quite the opposite! But by the time the month’s over, I’m a bit burned out, and then the holidays are really starting, and by the time I’ve got some free time again, all I want to do is sit on my butt and go back to life as normal.
The little nagging voice in the back of my head says that maybe that all means I’m not fit to be a writer.
The positive voice in the front of my head is telling that voice to shut up, because it’s got stories to tell. If I can force myself to sit down and do the editing on the past few years of NaNo projects, I’d have more than a couple of novel-length works sitting on my hard drive, and maybe someday I’ll get the guts to try submitting one for publication.
But that’s down the road from now. First off, I have to actually finish this project. Step one comes first. All the other steps can wait.
I’m at least keeping mostly on track, even if my writing is coming in fits and starts rather than at regular intervals. Some days I’ll write 600 words. Other days I’ll end up writing a few thousand. The other day at work, I sneakily wrote around 2000 words in between calls and emailed them to my home email at the end of my shift, more than meeting the day’s quota wile still doing my dayjob. (Wish I could do that every day, really; it would make things so much easier.) But I’m on track, even if I’m not writing 1666 words every single day.
This year’s project is tentatively Godshard (that’s “god shard”, not “gods hard,” just in case you, like me, read it as such). (Maybe “gods hard” can be the parody version involving lots of kinky sex.) I’m not sure whether to class it ias urban fantasy or fantasy with a technological twist or what, but ultimately, the one thing I can say about it is that it fits somewhat along the fantasy spectrum. I hesitate to say much about it here, not because I think my ideas are so awesome and will be stolen if I talk about them, but more because knowing my luck, I’ll tell you it’s all about one thing and then tomorrow night the characters will all sit down in my head and decide, “Screw it, we want this other thing to happen instead.” It’s been known to happen.
What is certain is that way back when, the gods all got in a snit and fought, and at the end of it all, the defeated god shattered into countless pieces and those pieces fell to earth. Whatever they touched turned into a holy relic, imbued with some fraction of a god’s power. And since I’m working with the idea that to gods time isn’t linear as we perceive it, those shards didn’t all just fall in different places but also different times. And one fell into a pregnant woman, giving that spark of godly power to her unborn son, Kema.
So there you have the premise. No idea if it’ll turn out the way I want it to, but I’m going to at least try. And maybe I’ll actually get down to some solid editing once November’s all over, too But like I said, one step at a time. I have to finish making Kema’s life hell first, before I can pick up the pieces.
Anyone else have some NaNo stories to share? Comments, rants, self-bribes of chocolate chip cookies if you meet your wordcount goal? Let’s hear it!